Josh Hamilton is about to fall off the wagon again
Any time a multi-millionaire semi-stabilizing recovering crackhead starts to have trouble doing the thing he’s best at and then publicly describes himself as ”out of sorts mentally” there should be cause for concern.
Texas Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton started the season hitting the ball like a Triple Crown winner over the months of April and May, only to hover around the Mendoza Line for the next two months. Now, with team President Nolan Ryan telling the media that he doesn’t think Hamilton is locked in, there should be big glittery red flags on fire with bottle rockets flaring out of them for Hamilton’s sponsor. In April and May Hamilton was batting .368 with 21 home runs, and in the two months since then has hit a still respectable 7 home runs, but has ran his average down to .290.
Look, I don’t know why Josh Hamilton is a drug addict, for all I know he’s just easing the pain from having to look at all of his sh***y tattoos. But when a guy like this starts to slip and stumble, and even publicly tell you he’s messed up in the head, you better put him on prison in Abu Dhabi lock down. It doesn’t take much to push this guy off the edge, I mean did you see the horrible looking trolls he was caught with in that Arizona bar a couple of years ago? I haven’t seen pigs like that since I moved away from Ohio. If he can’t pass up doing blow off of fat chicks in Mom jeans, how much longer can he avoid the temptations of the road? Every time I see him hit a slow chopper to second, or strike out swinging on a ball in the dirt I hear that intro music from Intervention.
Nolan Ryan seems like a smart guy, and who knows, maybe he walks into Josh Hamilton’s room tomorrow night and Robin Venturas him into sobriety, but someone better do something quick or we’re all gonna wake up one morning and find out Hamilton married Lindsay Lohan in Vegas and they’re both holed up in a Motel 6 trying to re-enact the movie Scarface.
For The Record: Let’s be clear here. I am not rooting for Josh Hamilton to fall off the wagon, and I would actually be very disappointed if he did. But why is it that society only cares about celebrities after they die tragically of the thing we all knew was about to kill them? Why are we so complacent while they’re killing themselves, and then run to Facebook to write R.I.P. and post memories about them like we cared? Michael Jackson was addicted to hardcore pain killers and sedatives since the late 80′s, Brittany Murphy looked like she quit eating altogether after Clueless, and will any of us really be shocked when Charlie Sheen careens into a Malibu retaining wall by 2014? If you’re reading this Josh, stop hanging out with losers and punishing yourself for blowing it after the draft. Or at least take it down a notch and get some medical marijuana to calm the nerves.