Browsing all articles in Green Bay Packers

Apr

Brett Favre to Have Full-Body Transplant in Time for Summer Workouts

Green Bay Packers, Minnesota Vikings, NFL Tags

Instead of having each individually injured part of his body surgically repaired over the next 20 years, Brett Favre has elected to just have his entire body replaced.

Luckily for him, finding a gay jeans model willing to donate his body to science, was surprisingly easy.

Wranglers will be pleased.

For The Record:

I find it odd that every male jeans model pictured on Google Images looks like he’d rather be wearing leather pants with a blouse instead.

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Jan

Favre Signs 1 Year Deal With Chicago Bears

Cornelius Wellington III Category

Chicago Bears, Featured, Green Bay Packers, Minnesota Vikings, NFL Tags

brett favre, nfl news, NFL Rumors

Just Kidding Packer fans.

Put the gun away.

Favre is mulling over a return to finish out his 2 year contract with Minnesota after Sunday’s loss to the Saints in New Orleans. Favre’s 4th quarter interception, which opened the door for the Saints leading into OT, is one of the biggest factors that could lead to Favre’s 3rd retirement in as many years.

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Jan

This One’s For The Little Guy

Michalis Hatzigiannis Category

Arizona Cardinals, Green Bay Packers, NFL Tags

Aaron Rodgers, Michael Adams

In an offensive battle that ended up being the highest scoring post season game in NFL history [51-45], one defense had to stand up. Aaron Rodgers carved up the entire Cardinal D, but especially targeted Michael Adams, an undersized CB, and basically spanked him up and down the field for 4 quarters. In overtime, however Michael Adam’s got his revenge, sacking Rogers and forcing a fumble that would be returned for the game winning TD.

Michael Adams you are the sh*t and the urine.

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Dec

FTRsports Week 17 NFL Power Rankings

Week 16 may have the worst gambling opportunities for football fans in the history of gambling. The bottom-feeding Bucs beat the Saints, the Colts pooped on their fanbase by laying down and dying against the Jets instead of trying to go undefeated, and Brett Favre proved that cold air really does affect people with arthritis. Let’s see if any of this affects this weeks rankings:

1. No one deserves to be #1 this week. The Colts proved their as masculine as Lifetime airing the Tony awards, and the Saints are making me question whether that’s a birthmark on Drew Brees’s face, or the beginning stages of AIDS. The Vikings can’t leap either team considering their QB played like Rex Grossman for one half and Dan Marino another half. I award you all no points, and may God have mercy on your souls.

2. Indianapolis Colts- I hate having to rank this team at all in a league made up completely of men, because this tank job should come with a penalty and a congressional hearing. Colts fans should have burned down the stadium after their team threw away perfection like it was a Christmas card with no money in it. I hope Peyton Manning gets hurt on the first snap of the playoffs, and Jim Caldwell gets hate mail for the rest of his life.

3. San Diego Chargers- The Chargers haven’t lost since mid-October, and don’t plan on them losing to the Redskins even with the reserves in this week. Jumping the Saints was unthinkable a couple weeks ago, but this team is legit going into the playoffs firing on all cylinders. I still don’t recommend betting on any games the final week of the season if teams that are locked into the playoffs are playing in them though.

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Dec

FTRsports Week 16 NFL Power Rankings

Week 15 was nothing short of magical for gambling with highs and lows that could rival a Lindsay Lohan bender. The Browns scored an unbelievable 41 points against the lowly Chiefs in a thriller. Josh Cribbs and Jerome Harrison stepped into the limelight for the day thanks to KC’s epically bad defense and special teams. San Diego proved it’s worth by beating the Bengals in So Cal in the game dedicated to Chris Henry who we’ll touch upon later. Let’s see how this week’s rankings shape up:

1. Indianapolis Colts- With the Saints fall from grace in down in the Bayou, Peyton Manning’s forehead has led the Colts to the top of the pile with 2 games remaining. The Colts have the Jets and Buffalo left on the menu, and you can bet they will keep their foot on the gas through the end to go undefeated. Don’t let the media fool you into betting against them.

2. New Orleans Saints- Believe it or not the Saints are now more dangerous than ever now that the pressure to go unblemished is off of their shoulders. I wouldn’t bet on Saints games these next two weeks, because they have nothing to play for, but you can bet the house on these guys in the playoffs. They’re the team to beat in the NFC, and probably the whole league.

3. San Diego Chargers- We shouldn’t be so shocked to see the Chargers plowing through December considering they play their best football every season around Christmas, but I was pretty surprised to see them beat the Bengals this week. If the Chargers defense can show up in the playoffs they may actually win a playoff game, but don’t expect to see any miracles from this team. They hate playing football in January.

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Dec

FTRsports Week 14 NFL Power Rankings

With Kurt Warner back in the saddle, and Matt Leinart back where he belongs, on the bench, the Arizona Cardinals flipped the switch on expectations when they beat the red-hot Minnesota Vikings this week, solidifying themselves as a playoff bound team this fall. The Dolphins upended the Pats putting the AFC East back into reach for a couple of teams, and the Steelers lost another big game. Let’s see how the rankings fell this week.

1. New Orleans Saints- Divine intervention, or point shaving? Washington’s kicker missed a 23 yard field goal to beat the undefeated Saints in the waning moments of the game. He was then promptly released from the team immediately afterwards. Saints hold the top spot till they lose a game all the way.

2. Indianapolis Colts- Peyton Manning’s forehead may be growing with every win, but don’t plan on seeing it stop in the regular season as the Colts have 3 easy games remaining, and are looking to make Don Shula cry at the end of the season.

3. Minnesota Vikings- The Vikings may have had a bump in the road in Arizona, butwith 10 wins, this team is still a force to be reckon with in the NFC. Look for a great game this week as the Vikings and Bengals meet in what should be a prime time display of playoff style football. Whichever team wins the ground game will probably win the overall game.

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