Browsing all articles in Cincinnati Bengals

The T.O. & Ocho Show, Bengals’ Placekickers Cringe

T.O. has spent much of the off-season working out with Carson Palmer in California, prompting the Bengals’ QB to press the organization into  taking a closer look at signing the free agent WR.

Can you imagine the showboating these two would put on with one another on the field. I would hate to be the guy kicking off from my own 20 yard line every time Carson Palmer throws a TD pass.

For The Record: I feel like if these two didn’t love themselves so much, they might date each other.

OchoCinco Airing ESPN’s Dirty Laundry Via Twitter

Oh how I love bitter Tweets.

Supposedly, ESPN analysts are trashing OchoCinco about his upcoming VH1 dating show and the subsequent Craigslist ads being used to attract fat chicks for public humiliation.

Chad, next time you make fun of Clayton, mention how he looks like Golum’s biological father.

OCNN vs. ESPN. Round 1. OCNN

Nice Cars Shayne; Hope You Paid Cash

Cincinnati Bengals kicker, Shayne Graham, may have missed only 2 FG attempts for a total of 6 points today in the Bengals’ wild card playoff loss to the NY Jets, but he cost them everything they worked for all season with those two misses.

The Jets proved that it is possible to tell an NFL team that you’re going to run the ball all day on them, and still manage to do it as they rushed the ball 38 times for 169 yards and 2 TDs.

Rookie Mark Sanchez has his first win in the playoffs which is one more than Carson Palmer who has now been in the league for 8 years.

Sorry to anyone who took my advice on betting the Bengals to win, call Shayne Graham for your money back before he gets cut.

Rex Ryan is Fat and Stupid

In today’s press conference leading up the NY Jets first round game against the Cincinnati Bengals, Rex Ryan stated that he thinks the Jets should be favored to win it all, after he was asked how he felt being 50-1 underdogs to win the Super Bowl.

I am desperately trying to call Rex Ryan to place a $100,000 bet on whether or not the Earth is flat, but am having no success. If you or anyone that you know has his cell phone number, please contact me at 1-800-FAT-SLOB.

FTRsports Week 17 NFL Power Rankings

Week 16 may have the worst gambling opportunities for football fans in the history of gambling. The bottom-feeding Bucs beat the Saints, the Colts pooped on their fanbase by laying down and dying against the Jets instead of trying to go undefeated, and Brett Favre proved that cold air really does affect people with arthritis. Let’s see if any of this affects this weeks rankings:

1. No one deserves to be #1 this week. The Colts proved their as masculine as Lifetime airing the Tony awards, and the Saints are making me question whether that’s a birthmark on Drew Brees’s face, or the beginning stages of AIDS. The Vikings can’t leap either team considering their QB played like Rex Grossman for one half and Dan Marino another half. I award you all no points, and may God have mercy on your souls.

2. Indianapolis Colts- I hate having to rank this team at all in a league made up completely of men, because this tank job should come with a penalty and a congressional hearing. Colts fans should have burned down the stadium after their team threw away perfection like it was a Christmas card with no money in it. I hope Peyton Manning gets hurt on the first snap of the playoffs, and Jim Caldwell gets hate mail for the rest of his life.

3. San Diego Chargers- The Chargers haven’t lost since mid-October, and don’t plan on them losing to the Redskins even with the reserves in this week. Jumping the Saints was unthinkable a couple weeks ago, but this team is legit going into the playoffs firing on all cylinders. I still don’t recommend betting on any games the final week of the season if teams that are locked into the playoffs are playing in them though.

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FTRsports Week 16 NFL Power Rankings

Week 15 was nothing short of magical for gambling with highs and lows that could rival a Lindsay Lohan bender. The Browns scored an unbelievable 41 points against the lowly Chiefs in a thriller. Josh Cribbs and Jerome Harrison stepped into the limelight for the day thanks to KC’s epically bad defense and special teams. San Diego proved it’s worth by beating the Bengals in So Cal in the game dedicated to Chris Henry who we’ll touch upon later. Let’s see how this week’s rankings shape up:

1. Indianapolis Colts- With the Saints fall from grace in down in the Bayou, Peyton Manning’s forehead has led the Colts to the top of the pile with 2 games remaining. The Colts have the Jets and Buffalo left on the menu, and you can bet they will keep their foot on the gas through the end to go undefeated. Don’t let the media fool you into betting against them.

2. New Orleans Saints- Believe it or not the Saints are now more dangerous than ever now that the pressure to go unblemished is off of their shoulders. I wouldn’t bet on Saints games these next two weeks, because they have nothing to play for, but you can bet the house on these guys in the playoffs. They’re the team to beat in the NFC, and probably the whole league.

3. San Diego Chargers- We shouldn’t be so shocked to see the Chargers plowing through December considering they play their best football every season around Christmas, but I was pretty surprised to see them beat the Bengals this week. If the Chargers defense can show up in the playoffs they may actually win a playoff game, but don’t expect to see any miracles from this team. They hate playing football in January.

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