Rashard Lewis Has a Viral Infection

Cornelius Wellington III    Boston Celtics, NBA, Orlando Magic     Eastern Conference Finals, nba news, Rashard Lewis Viral Infection

AFTER the Orlando Magic have gone 1-3 in the Eastern Conference Finals against the Boston Celtics, the Magic’s highest paid player and worst performer thus far is claiming he has a viral infection which has be limiting his effectiveness on the court.

I didn’t bother reading the rest of the article, but I imagine it went something like this.

Superman Is Not Dead

Michalis Hatzigiannis    Boston Celtics, NBA, Orlando Magic    

When the real Superman came back to life, I am pretty sure he didn’t wait untill the world was already three fourths of the way destroyed, and past the point of recovery. 

Van Gundy is right though , one of these days a team will come back from three down to win a series, but not this team.  Not with Vince Carter shaking in his boots.  And not with a post steroidal Rashard Lewis, who just doesn’t seem to have the same “juice” he had last year, when he was able to drain all those super clutch, late 3 pointers. 

Maybe Superman cannot save the world this time, but at least he saved the Magic from being swept.

Lakers Late Surge Puts Them Up 2-0

Michalis Hatzigiannis    Boston Celtics, Los Angeles Lakers, NBA, Orlando Magic, Phoenix Suns     Pau Gasol

Thanks to Pau Gasol’s 14 fourth quarter points, the Lakers proved that they can score with the Sun’s in their 124-112 win in Wednesday night game.  They now appear to be on a collision course with the Boston Celtics, who also went ahead in their series 2-0.

I wouldn’t worry though if you are fans of Phoenix or Orlando, nothing is too difficult, and they can do anything as long as they believe in themselves.  Just ask this guy.

Don’t give up!

Dwight Howard Arrested for Masturbating on TV During Halftime Segment

Cornelius Wellington III    Boston Celtics, NBA, Orlando Magic     Boston Celtics, Dwight Howard, Dwight Howard Interviewing Himself, Game 1 Eastern Conference Finals

In some lame attempt to convince more NBA fans to like Dwight Howard, ABC did a halftime segment where Dwight Howard dresses like Clark Kent, and interviews himself. Police arrested him upon his return to the floor in Orlando for the second half of game 1.

The Orlando police chief had this to say regarding Howard’s arrest:

“We love the Orlando Magic, but as a city built on the success of family oriented businesses like Disneyworld, we cannot allow Dwight Howard to go on national television and perform acts of ego-felatio for the world to see. That’s not how Orlando wants to be represented.”

Howard was not available for comment, because, frankly, no five year olds were available to write his script on such short notice.

The segement also drew immediate negative attention on Twitter with tweets like:

It may have been the worst halftime segment of all time, especially when Dwight asked himself to do a Stan Van Gundy impression, where Dwight further embarrassed himself. I’d rather watch Charles Barkley eat himself into a food coma at halftime than listen to Dwight Howard love himself.

Maybe he should be working on free throws a little more than butchering halftime segments.

Video will be available soon for those who missed it.

A look Into the Future.

Michalis Hatzigiannis    Boston Celtics, Chicago Bulls, Cleveland Cavaliers, Los Angeles Lakers, NBA, New York Knicks, Orlando Magic, Phoenix Suns     lebron james

Make all the excuses you want Cleveland, but the Celtics beat you with experience. You were too young, and they weren’t too old. They dropped daggers in your faces whenever you got going, and in the face of adversity you had no one to lead you through.  The Orlando Magic, however do not experience the same problem.  They make quick work of Boston.   The Suns lose a close game 7 in LA.  Orlando goes on to win the whole thing.

Despite what everyone has argued, Lebron doesn’t think about money, he doesn’t think about loyalty, and he doesn’t think about his future enterprise when tackling his free agency.  He doesn’t go to NY and he doesn’t stay in Cleveland.  He goes to the Chicago Bulls because they have the best pieces in place to win right away, and the cap space to add even more.  Lebron goes on to win many championships, and becomes regarded as the best to ever play the game by most people.

Cleveland, unable to handle the loss of Lebron, falls into a state of complete devastation. They secede to Canada where everyone is used to having nothing.

In the next level of sports evolutions, athletes add robot parts, which at first levels the playing field.  In time though, it becomes a matter of who can afford the best and most innovative technology.  Eventually sports  cease to take place on the playing field and are held in the virtual world, where the best players are those who can write the best code.  Athletes trade places with smart people, and dorks make the most money and get more p*ssy than anyone else, with the exception of two men, who got started with a small sports blog, but go on to run the world.

Artest Has Defense on His Mind

Cornelius Wellington III    Los Angeles Lakers, NBA, Orlando Magic     Artest Twitter, NBA News and Rumors, Ron Artest Hair

If you watched the Lakers/Magic game today on ABC, you probably thought for a moment that Dennis Rodman had joined the Lakers, until you realized the Magic were getting rebounds.

Artest had defense written in English, Hindu, and Hebrew carved and colored into his hair for the game, playing to his status as the premier defender this season.

God intervened and helped the Magic win when he forced Kobe’s final jumper left saving Orlando from embarrassment on their own court.

Lakers have lost their 4th straight road loss, leading me to believe there is no way the Cavs don’t win the title this season.