Arte Moreno’s Checkbook Goes Missing, Angels Sign Pujols and C.J. Wilson

Pujols-angels

In a move only people who wear foil hats and eat out of dumpsters could have predicted, the Los Angeles Angels have laid out a 10 year $254 million deal that will bring Albert Pujols to Disneyland, and another $77.5 million over 5 years to convince Rangers stud, C.J. Wilson to join an already star-studded rotation that features Dan Haren, Jered Weaver, and Ervin Santana.

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Marlins Making the Biggest Offseason Splash

miami marlins

The Miami Marlins have been the toast of the Winter Meetings, already landing All-Stars Jose Reyes and Heath Bell. While they’ve been the most active ball club, they’ve also done a really great job of raising the bar for other teams by upping the price for the biggest free agent on the market, Albert Pujols.

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World Series Mayoral Bet is Beefy

world series mayors

It’s a political tradition for the city Mayors of opposing World Series opponents to wager the best that their city has to offer against one another in a friendly wager on the World Series match up.

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Flashy Off-Seasons Don’t Mean Sh*t

Cardinals champagne Showers

It occurred to me today that the St. Louis Cardinals knocked the two teams with the flashiest off-seasons out of the playoffs.

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Killer Moth Takes Cards’ Matt Holliday Out of Game

AP Photo/Jeff Roberson

Matt Holliday was forced to leave last night’s game, in the 8th inning, against the Dodgers in St Louis when a moth flew into his ear and tried to make it it’s new home.

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Baseball Needs Technical Fouls

yadier yelling at ump

St Louis Cardinals catcher, Yadier Molina, got a 5 game suspension for arguing with the ump, bumping him, and spitting in his face. He won’t be appealing.

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Albert Pujols is Obviously On HGH

albert-pujols-steriods

I’m not saying Albert Pujols is definitely using PED’s, I’m saying he is definitely not not using PED’s. If you need evidence, beyond the fact that he is not actually a machine and that people are not actually built like brick shithouses, he managed to heal from a broken wrist in 2 weeks. He just came off the DL today, although he was not in the lineup. The normal recovery period for this injury is about 6 weeks.

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St Louis Needs to Run from Pujols

Albert Pujols and the Cardinals could not reach an agreement by the deadline set today, and good Ol’ Al wants his money after all. He will play out the last season on his contract and hit free agency at the end of the ’11 season.

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Editors Need To Start Giving a Hit

Apparently JA Happ chased a grande meal from Taco Bell with some prune juice, and a Fiber One bar before his game, but still got the shut out.

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