Part-Time Ace, Zambrano Headed to Bullpen

Cornelius Wellington III    Chicago Cubs, MLB     Bullpen, Carlos Zambrano, chicago cubs, MLB News and Rumors

Lou Pinella announced today that Carlos Zambrano, Chicago’s best hitter, would  now be playing out of the bullpen in a setup roll. The Cubs have lost some close games in the later innings, including games that Zambrano and his +7 ERA, started.

When the $18.85 million dollar a season pitcher/ possible pinch hitter was told that he may have to only pitch an inning or two every few days, but still gets to keep making the same amount of money, this was his reaction.

I’d be stoked too if I found out I only had to work part-time and still make a full week’s pay.

Andre Dawson to Enter Hall of Fame As Expo

Cornelius Wellington III    Chicago Cubs, Featured, MLB     Andre Dawson, Dawson Hall of Fame, mlb news

Despite playing his most famous 6 and final seasons with the Chicago Cubs, Hall of Fame officials have decided Andre “The Hawk” Dawson will go into the Hall as a Montreal Expo, even though the Montreal Expos don’t exist.

Dawson was Rookie of the Year with the Expos in 1977, and played 10 of his 16 seasons there, but had made it clear that he wanted to enter the Hall as a Cub, because he felt that Chicago is where he made his impact, and Canada sucks.

Well, maybe he didn’t say that Canada sucks, but we all know he wanted to.

Baseball Transactions Worth Noting

Cornelius Wellington III    Chicago Cubs, MLB, Philadelphia Phillies     Baseball Signings, mlb news, MLB Transactions

The Cincinnati Reds locked Scott Rolen up with an extension through 2012. The world ends that year, so signing anyone to  a longer contract would just be blowing smoke up their butt anyway.

The Phillies exercised their option on Jimmy Rollins as everyone expected. Rollins returns to his bromance with Chase Utley with higher expectations this season.

The Seattle Mariners have proven they will take anyone they can get to win the AL West this year by taking Milton Bradley off the Cubs’ hands. Vegas is already scrambling to come up with the over/under on when Milton says “F*ck Seattle” during an interview.

Random Baseball Signing of the Week:

The Los Angeles Dodgers agreed to terms with INF Doug Mientkiewicz, INF Angel Berroa, RHP Luis Ayala, RHP Francisco Felix, RHP Justin Miller, RHP Juan Perez, 1B John Lindsey, OF Prentice Redman and RHP Josh Towers on minor league contracts. The chick in the picture above was not signed to a baseball contract, but would you even recognize any of these guys if I put their pictures up?

Lou Piniella: “We Stink!”

Cornelius Wellington III    Chicago Cubs, MLB     chicago cubs, Cubs Suck, funny sports blog, Lou Piniella, MLB, NL Central, Worthless Team

Headlines like, “The Cubs are Playing like Losers” has become as routine as saying “Crisis in the Middle East” in the past 100 years. So, ESPN.com’s story about how Manager Lou Piniella takes the blame, but also says he can only do so much, and the team chemistry sucks, frankly, is a waste of time.

Piniella blames himself to shut reporters up, but then he realizes it’s not his fault that Milton Bradley cries more than a drunken whore on Real World, and Chicago players always get hurt, so he threw some blame around the clubhouse to even things out. Bradley thinks Cubs fans are “idiots”.

I disagree. The only idiots in Chicago are the ones that gave you a $10 million a year deal to play like a jerk, Milton.

Go read the mess for yourself.

ESPN COVERAGE

~Cornelius

Cubs Swept From Playoffs Again

Cornelius Wellington III    Chicago Cubs     chicago cubs, losers, mlb playoffs

Just practicin

Playoff Preview.

Cornelius Wellington III    Chicago Cubs, MLB, Philadelphia Phillies     chicago cubs, MLB, Philadelphia Phillies

A Chicago Cubs fan was having so much fun watching the Cubs lose 12-5 on Wednesday night, that he got caught up in the moment and showered The Flyin Hawaiian with his beer.

Shane Victorino went on to file battery charges against the fan, and the Phillies went on to sweep the Cubs.

Just like they will in October.

If the Cubs can make it.

Losers.