Many of you may think we’re joking about how much we hate Women’s basketball, so to clarify everything, here’s a list of thing’s I’d rather do than watch the Women’s NCAA Tournament this March.

10. Get a Root Canal

After searching Google Images for root canal pictures, I figured it best to just give you a picture of this chick instead. Root canals bad. Breast Implants…. good. You get the idea.

9. Give Myself Swine Flu

Everyone I know that had it lived through it. Can’t say the same for guys I know who watched women’s basketball games.

8. Clean Public Toilets on Skid Row

I’m sure they only get cleaned once a year anyway. Why not do it in March?!!

7. Throw My Dog Into A River

Spot shooting and routine bounce passes are great for U9 basketball camps, but why would I bother watching a bunch of dudes with ponytails do it in a quarter-packed basketball stadium with the hope of one day playing in the financial tragedy that is the WNBA.

6. Watch The View Live in Studio

Listening to 4 menstruating women talk about world politics and Heidi Montag in the same sentence is still better than looking at Pat Summitt’s corpse-like face.

5. Move to Somalia

With all the pirates controlling who gets what, it would be close to impossible for me to find out that UCONN beat every team by 30 points or more.

4. Get Date Raped by Ben Rapistberger

I’m not saying he sexually assaulted that chick in Georgia. I’m saying he’s gay.

3. Shoot Myself in the Leg

Two good things about living in CA as opposed to living in NY:

1. If I shot myself in a club, I could probably actually sue the club somehow.
2. By the time I wake up, half of the Women’s NCAA games on tv have already been played.

2. Impregnate Amy Winehouse

Hope you aren’t reading this on your lunch break. Sure cutting off my dong was gonna be #1 on this list, but this is pretty much the same thing.

1. Set Myself On Fire

I can watch people do layups all day down at 24 Hour Fitness. Why would I waste my time watching girls do layups on tv with commercial interruptions for tampon applicators and PETA Public Service Announcements?

About the Author: Charles Drengberg

Charles Co-Founded FTRsports in 2009 as something fun to do with his spare time. He’s now insanely addicted to making it the greatest sports blog ever, which isn’t hard because most sports blogs suck.

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