Iverson Needs Help.

by David Sacco on March 8th, 2010 | NBA

ESPN’s Steven A Smith is reporting that perennial all-star Allen Iverson is in real trouble. The 34 year old, who faced a Tysonian slip in performance, is allegedly on his way to drinking and gambling his life away. Smith reported that the disintegration of his game was caused by a knee problem that he described as “bone on bone,” back problems, and his current lack of speed, and not his drinking. Even though Iverson is only 34, obviously his miniature frame was not going to hold up, after being the most fouled person in the league for years, but now he is facing problems off the court. His high school sweetheart, wife, and mother of his kids is now filing for divorce, and after being forced to retire it does not look like Iverson has much left.

I think athletes need to learn a little restraint. Every guy likes sex, but most of us limit the cheating on our wives and girlfriends to 1 a year. We don’t go on a year long, 40 girl tear that is impossible to cover up, like Tiger. We have all gone to work unshowered, unshaven, without any sleep, and had to spend at least 8 hours barfing the alcohol from last night up into our mouths. We just only do it once a week. We have all lost our rent money on Monday trying to make up for all the money we already lost on Sunday. We have all been to Vegas during the final four and had to come back and eat hot-dogs for a month because stupid Chris Duhan down 4, had to drain a last second half court shot for no reason, and cover UConns 2 point spread. We like watching too much TV, not picking up our underwear in the bathroom, sleeping in, and chasing a twelver of Guinness with KFC, but we go to the store to watch our girls try on bridesmaids dresses, while laying on the guilt, and talking about her dream wedding instead, because we don’t want to get dumped.

Allen just needed someone to say NO AI! BAD AI! GO TO PRACTICE AI.