While the FBI was sitting outside of A-Rod’s house yesterday looking for needles in his trash and scooping samples from his dog’s poop in the yard, they noticed that the neighborhood paperboy was throwing the Times a little further and with a lot more accuracy than usual.

Soon after the boy’s arrest, rumors were everywhere that A-Rod’s paperboy had been supplying the Yankee 3rd baseman with PEDs since grade school. Congressmen, that were originally elected during the Civil War, back the allegations.

A-Rod was unavailable for comment and is still reluctant to leave his penthouse since he found out Madonna was a man.

About the Author: Charles Drengberg

Charles Co-Founded FTRsports in 2009 as something fun to do with his spare time. He’s now insanely addicted to making it the greatest sports blog ever, which isn’t hard because most sports blogs suck.

Web | Twitter | More Posts (1331)