Raven’s Stick to Winning Formula; Sign Murderer Donte Stallworth


Ray Lewis is the heart and soul of the Baltimore Raven’s defense, and has been so since he murdered someone back in 2000. The Raven’s are now hoping that former Cleveland Browns wideout, Donte Stallworth will prove to be as effective on the offensive side of the ball fresh off of his DUI manslaughter of a Florida man last year.

Stallworth signed a one year deal worth about $1.1 million for one year including incentives. Don’t get me wrong I think this is a great signing, but come on, if I hit some bum with my Jeep wasted at 5 in the morning, I’d be walking around holding some big mexican’s pocket lining in hopes of not getting sexually assaulted by the whole cell block.

For The Record:

Burt Reynolds was not available for comment, mostly because no one knows whatever happened to him.

About the Author: Charles Drengberg

Charles Co-Founded FTRsports in 2009 as something fun to do with his spare time. He’s now insanely addicted to making it the greatest sports blog ever, which isn’t hard because most sports blogs suck.

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5 Comments

  1. Josh says:

    First off Ray Lewis did not murder anyone, he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. A group of acquaintance's he met murdered that boy, (which is why ray didnt get jail time). But, I don't agree with sentencing for Donte he should of gotten life. He had taken an innocent persons life and should have paid, but unfortuantly out justice system is to weak which is why America has the most DUI's compared to everyother country in the world.

  2. TRUTH says:

    Regarding both this ignorant topic and josh's comment. #1 Ray Lewis NEVER murdered anyone. That's why he never received jail time and the charges were DROPPED. You can't even say he got off "like OJ" as everyone says, because the charges were never fully pursued. Second, yea Stallworth was drunk, the night before. He went home, slept, woke up, then drove. It's not like he left the bar and hit the guy. The guy killed crossed a HIGHWAY ILLEGALLY! He didn't use the crosswalk #1, and he didn't wait for the stop light to turn red and his crosswalk light to turn green. HE made the mistake, not Stallworth. I swear everyone looks at headlines and assumes everything. "Man killed in Donte Stallworth accident" Oh I won't even read the article and get the details, I'll just accuse him of murder….FUCK YOU

  3. Dylon says:

    Is this guy for real? I mean your right, who doesn't have friends who murder someone once in a while? I am sure Ray Ray had nothing to do with it, he was just at the scene of the crime. If you say you have never driven a little over the limit you are a liar. He didn't kill the man bc we was drunk, he killed him bc the guy was jay walking in the dark. In Florida if you are not at fault for an accident, u don't get man slaughter. If he were rear ended and the other driver died, would you still think he deserved life?

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