Florida Gators all American DE and sack leader Carlos Dunlap, was arrested for driving under the influence at 3:25 am Tuesday morning, after falling asleep at a green light in his 2000 Chrysler.  He will now have to serve a suspension Saturday in their highly anticipated SEC championship game against Alabama.

I can’t imagine how bad Urban Meyer reamed him out for this one.  Actually, what am I saying? I totally can, it probably went something like this.

Meyer:  How could you do this?

Dunlap: I’m sorry sir.

Meyer: I cannot believe you could be so reckless and stupid with Tim’s last season.  You not only may have cost him the SEC title and a National Championship, but also his 2nd Heisman trophy.

Dunlap:  I know I let my whole team down.

Meyer:  Yes, but mostly you let Timmothy Tebow down!  He is an inspiration to us all, on and off the field!  He is  an athlete as well as a philanthropist! Do you know how hard he’s worked?  He’s been like a brother to you, and like a girlfriend–I mean– son to me.

Dunlap: We all worked har–Did you say girlfriend?

Meyer: Get out of here you are suspended!

Dunlap:  But coach our players get arrested all the time, and mine didn’t even involve a gun. Whatever I’m a first rounder, Tebow’s going to get turned into a tight end or some sh*t, forget you.

Meyer: You bite your tongue!  Don’t you storm out of here without kissing the Tebow statue’s Feet!

About the Author: David Sacco

If he could afford to get a vasectomy he’d get one tomorrow …

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