Week 16 may have the worst gambling opportunities for football fans in the history of gambling. The bottom-feeding Bucs beat the Saints, the Colts pooped on their fanbase by laying down and dying against the Jets instead of trying to go undefeated, and Brett Favre proved that cold air really does affect people with arthritis. Let’s see if any of this affects this weeks rankings:

1. No one deserves to be #1 this week. The Colts proved their as masculine as Lifetime airing the Tony awards, and the Saints are making me question whether that’s a birthmark on Drew Brees’s face, or the beginning stages of AIDS. The Vikings can’t leap either team considering their QB played like Rex Grossman for one half and Dan Marino another half. I award you all no points, and may God have mercy on your souls.

2. Indianapolis Colts- I hate having to rank this team at all in a league made up completely of men, because this tank job should come with a penalty and a congressional hearing. Colts fans should have burned down the stadium after their team threw away perfection like it was a Christmas card with no money in it. I hope Peyton Manning gets hurt on the first snap of the playoffs, and Jim Caldwell gets hate mail for the rest of his life.

3. San Diego Chargers- The Chargers haven’t lost since mid-October, and don’t plan on them losing to the Redskins even with the reserves in this week. Jumping the Saints was unthinkable a couple weeks ago, but this team is legit going into the playoffs firing on all cylinders. I still don’t recommend betting on any games the final week of the season if teams that are locked into the playoffs are playing in them though.

4. New Orleans Saints- There is no excuse for losing to the Tampa Bay Bucaneers. I’m baffled by this turn of events, and speechless for the NFC.

5. Minnesota Vikings- Losing to the Cardinals is one thing, but losing to the Bears is embarrassing. The Vikings are safe knowing that no matter what they don’t have to play in cold weather this winter as long as they win next week, but they better plan on smashing the Giants from every angle if they want people to take them serious in the playoffs.

6. Philadelphia Eagles- I have been reluctant to move the Eagles up this far all season, because they allow too many points on D, but they’ve continued to win with a balanced offense for 6 straight games. If Asante Samuel can kill the air attack as much as he used to in the playoffs with New England, this team could be a threat to the floundering big boys of the NFC.

7. New England- Jumping the Bengals is the Patriots, and I know you’ll all take this as a biased move, but the Bengals have looked mediocre for a month now, and the Patriots have been going the other way. Belichick loves football in the colder months, and always heats up in the playoffs. This will probably be the only playoff team with their foot on the gas for this week’s games, so feel free to bet on them hammering the ball down Houston’s throat through the finish. Betting the over is probably safe too no matter what it’s set at as the Texans can only score through the air which is a liability in New England in the winter.

8. Cincinnati Bengals- Not sure what’s going on in Cincy, other than Ochocinco tweeting more than Ashton Kutcher nowadays. The Bengals will come out firing against the Jets, but again I wouldn’t bet on this game either, considering the Bengals are already in.

Instead of ranking another team that won’t win the Super Bowl, I’d like to address Steelers linebacker LaMarr Woodley’s statement “the Patriots and Bengals will “lay down” for their meaningless final games in hopes of not playing the defending champion Steelers in the first round. LaMarr, no one is afraid of playing the 2009 Pittsburgh Steelers. Both the Pats and the Bengals are hoping to play the Steelers in fact, considering even bad teams beat the Steelers all season.

About the Author: Charles Drengberg

Charles Co-Founded FTRsports in 2009 as something fun to do with his spare time. He’s now insanely addicted to making it the greatest sports blog ever, which isn’t hard because most sports blogs suck.

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