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Good!

Because your beloved 26 year old three time batting champ Joe Mauer is going to be.  It has been reported that the twins are offering him 20 mil a year, and he is holding out for the A-Rod money, somewhere in the range of 25.  He is absolutely worth it, just probably not to the Twins who would have to dedicate a forth of their payroll to the catcher.

In every other sport you better bleed you team’s colors, but baseball, I say feel free to jump ship.  I grew up loving the Indians and Manny Ramirez, and have felt no shame for taking my loyalty to whatever team could pay him.   Go ahead root for the Brewers.  Prince Fielder is gonezo after this season, and Ryan Braun will follow when his contract is up, just like Mark Teixeira and the Rangers.  Enjoy Hanley Ramirez while you can, and then go buy a Red Sox hat once he gets traded back to them for prospects.

It isn’t bad for the teams, they can always be rebuilt, it sucks for the fans that have to sit through rebuilding periods, while two cy young award winning pitchers that came up through their system pitch against each other in the world series.   My advice, join a fantasy baseball league, build your own team, and root for your players and whatever teams they are on.

At this point, sad doesn’t even describe it.

Have some self-respect for yourself Canseco.

While the FBI was sitting outside of A-Rod’s house yesterday looking for needles in his trash and scooping samples from his dog’s poop in the yard, they noticed that the neighborhood paperboy was throwing the Times a little further and with a lot more accuracy than usual.

Soon after the boy’s arrest, rumors were everywhere that A-Rod’s paperboy had been supplying the Yankee 3rd baseman with PEDs since grade school. Congressmen, that were originally elected during the Civil War, back the allegations.

A-Rod was unavailable for comment and is still reluctant to leave his penthouse since he found out Madonna was a man.

Shocking news made today when Tennessee Volunteers’ Women’s basketball coaching legend, Pat Summitt announced that he is Lady Gaga’s biological father.

It’s been a long and difficult struggle for me in proving that I am Lady GaGa’s father, but with all the photographic proof of his her “lady-parts” floating around the internet, it was easy to see that I am most certainly his her father. I hope that we can build a strong relationship based on her buying me endless racks of pantsuits and I can help her dress up like a clown every night before he she goes out.

What a disgusting beautiful family.